[the power of a parent]

Love this story about the power of a parent:

Ben Carson said of himself, “I was the worst student in my whole fifth-grade class.” One day Ben took a math test with 30 problems. The student behind him corrected it and handed it back. The teacher, Mrs. Williamson, started calling each student’s name for the score. Finally, she got to Ben. Out of embarrassment, he mumbled the answer. Mrs. Williamson, thinking he had said “9,” replied that for Ben to score 9 out of 30 was a wonderful improvement. The student behind Ben then yelled out, “Not nine! … He got none … right.” Ben said he wanted to drop through the floor.

At the same time, Ben’s mother, Sonya, faced obstacles of her own. She was one of 24 children, had only a third-grade education, and could not read. She was married at age 13, was divorced, had two sons, and was raising them in the ghettos of Detroit. Nonetheless, she was fiercely self-reliant and had a firm belief that God would help her and her sons if they did their part.

One day a turning point came in her life and that of her sons. It dawned on her that successful people for whom she cleaned homes had libraries—they read. After work she went home and turned off the television that Ben and his brother were watching. She said in essence: You boys are watching too much television. From now on you can watch three programs a week. In your free time you will go to the library—read two books a week and give me a report.

The boys were shocked. Ben said he had never read a book in his entire life except when required to do so at school. They protested, they complained, they argued, but it was to no avail. Then Ben reflected, “She laid down the law. I didn’t like the rule, but her determination to see us improve changed the course of my life.”

And what a change it made. By the seventh grade he was at the top of his class. He went on to attend Yale University on a scholarship, then Johns Hopkins medical school, where at age 33 he became its chief of pediatric neurosurgery and a world-renowned surgeon. How was that possible? Largely because of a mother who, without many of the advantages of life, magnified her calling as a parent.

You can read Ben Carson's biography here.

[what a sad day!]

(Art by David Bowman)

I feel like I have to apologize for the blog post I posted earlier today. I did it before I heard the news about the elementary school shooting in Conneticut.

I know my blog is not a serious blog but it is hard not to say anything when things like this happen.

Today I can’t even imagine posting anything on my blog ever again. Yet life has to eventually continue normally, I know that. But something like this stops you completely and it’s hard to imagine being able to just keep living life lightly and worry free.

My heart is aching so badly for anyone involved in the effects of this shooting.

Oh to be able to take anyone affected by this tragedy, or any other tragedy in the world, into your arms and comfort them!

The only solace for me on days like today is my faith.

I know those children and adults who died are ok right now. They are in the arms of the Savior and surrounded by family and friends.

I know that a day will come when all sorrow and heart ache will end. I look forward to that day with more and more eagerness the more I hear about the horrible events in our world. They have always happened and they will continue to happen until the day when all is set right.

I’m so grateful for my faith on days like this. I don’t know how people without faith can go on when things like this happen. How can you understand life and tragedy without having faith in a Supreme Being who is loving and has a plan for all of human kind? I don’t think I could find enough hope without the gospel. It is so comforting to know that it will all be made ok in the end and that one day people actually will live in peace and love.

I’m so grateful for the scriptures and the knowledge and understanding they give me about life and why things happen. I’m so grateful that I have my faith. I can’t say it enough.

May those people affected by this tragedy (and any other!) have people around them to weep with them and to share their love with them.

Nothing else than the atonement will ever heal their aching hearts completely. I’m so grateful that one day their hearts will be healed by the One who suffered all the pain and suffering of the world and has the power to heal it all and make things right.

For those of you who might get offended by this post: I’m sorry. I just had to do this.

For anyone interested in understanding the gospel (which literally means “good news”) better, I am available to share my thoughts with you. The more knowledge you have of God’s love and plan, the less anxiety and fear you will feel on days like today. Feel free to e-mail me (sansku.etsy@gmail.com). 

The gospel truly is the source of peace and joy! Doesn’t take the hurt away but at least there is peace and hope!

{some good thoughts for ya}

tiettyjen juttujen takia mulla on menossa oikeen kunnon unettomuusputki joten käytetään nyt sitten tämä aika tällä kertaa vaikkapa bloggaamalla...

so... earlier this month i went to my very first "Time Out for Women" event. it was such an amazing experience for me and i've been wanting to share little nuggets about this event with you. so here goes...

Mary Ellen Edmunds mentioned that we don't judge growing plants saying that they are immature and aren't much. so why do we judge ourselves so often when we are still growing and learning?

Heidi Swinton wrote the biography for President Monson who is the president of the church i belong to. he is one busy man even though he is up in age. one of his fellow church leaders said this about seeing him in the church headquarters office: "Walking by him was like walking past a whirlwind." but somehow, this most busy man, has written 47 thick journals. Heidi told us that she got to read all of them (!!!). instead of talking about all of the important meetings and committees President Monson has been involved in, his journals are about interactions with people. helping them etc.

anyways, i kept thinking that if such a busy man as Pres. Monson can find time to write in his journals, surely the rest of us can do the same. the things you forget if you don't write them down!

Hilary Weeks (an amazing singer/song writer) told us about her experiment with a clicker. she had learned that us women think about 300 negative thought per day. she bought a clicker and clicked it every time a negative thought came to her mind. she told us that her average was about 149 per day (she did it for a week). she said that she felt depressed after that one week of her experiment and she thought that focusing on those negative thoughts so much (noticing them more than usually) made her depressed. she decided to change the experiment to see how many positive things she thought every day. she did it for a week again and her average was 321 per day. focusing on positive things kept bringing more positive things to her mind. the result in her words: "I have never felt so good."

"I can accomplish anything."

notice that nothing had changed in her life except her thoughts (!).

Emily Freeman told us a story about a woman who had lots of troubles. a church leader was asked to come to give her advice and help (at a not so convenient time).

the woman said to the church leader afterwards "thank you for coming." the church leader replied: "you're worth it." (versus "you're welcome)

we are all worth it!

S. Michael Wilcox mentioned something profound an university professor friend had told him: "Never compare "your" best to "their" worst."

for example: we shouldn't compare Mother Teresa to Osama Bin Laden.

it's just not fair.

there are many bad Catholics and many amazingly good Muslims.

i thought this advice was very relavant in today's world.

Wendy Ulrich had a list of seven things that would make you happier.

#5 was Celebrate Failure!

explanation:

failure often means we are taking the necessary risks to grow, stretch, etc.

the lessons we learn from failure are worth learning.

we could ask our children: "who failed at something today? let's celebrate it!" then you can talk about how great it is that they tried and talk about the things they learned from the failure.

Kris Belcher was so funny! she's a lady who lost her eyes to cancer. she went through a very dark time (literally) but came through it and now she is a motivational speaker. her sense of humor... i tell you... we laughed so hard when she spoke! she told us about a time when she needed to use the bathroom at a family reunion. she went in one of the stalls, put her cane in the corner, took her pants down to get ready to sit on the toilet, reached behind her with her hand to make sure she sat on the toilet... and... felt a little girl's head!!!!! the girl had been too shy to say anything. Kris said to her: "Was that scary?" she later told the people who asked her what was wrong that she'd pay for the girl's therapy. :) anyways, i wish you all could have heard her talk. an amazing woman. did i mention that she went blind when one of her children was still in diapers? yikes!

i knew this would end up being a long post. what can i say - Time Out for Women was AWESOME! :)

Time Out for Women

it's past 1am and i'm still not sleepy at all. insomnia is so frustrating, i tell you. i've been tired all day long but now - zing! - wide awake. 

the actual color of the sky that day was this:



we get many days like this here in Alberta. clear, bright blue sky.

gotta love it. 

{choose to love}

i just have to share this story president monson shared at our church's women's conference:

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

:D

here's couple more quotes from his awesome talk:

Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

"There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere."

"Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."

there you have it. deep thoughts for the day. :)

{thoughts on motherhood}

steve aka sricpin/flickr

floridapfe/flickr
ferdi's world/flickr
iPhotograph/flickr
happy mother's day to all of you mothers as well as to all those of you who want to be mothers but for some reason or another can't. yet.
as someone who went through a major infertility trial, i know how mother's day can be when your heart is aching to be a mother and it's just not happening. i waited for 14 years (!!!) to be a mother. how tough was it? only those who have gone through the same thing, for as long as i did, know. each year it got worse and worse. it got to the point where i didn't want to be around anyone on mother's day. jay and i even went out of town once to escape it all. it all was just too much. i still remember the feelings i had back then even though now i know that all turned out well. the wait was all worth it. now we have sienna who is such a joy to us. life seems more complete. sometimes i think that i can appereciate motherhood more than other mothers because i had to wait for so long. i sure don't ever want to catch myself complaining about any part of motherhood. it is a blessing to be a mother.
i always thought i'd have three children. i even had names picked. two girls, one boy. life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, right? i never planned to be such an old mom either. i don't get it that the trend seems to be to wait until you're 40 or so to have kids. you just don't have the same energy as you did in your 20's, for example. all our friends have teenagers/older children. it makes me sad at times to think how old i'll be when sienna will be 20, or when she'll be 30... i just hope i can be there when she will have children of her own.
sometimes i still feel like an outsider when i'm with other moms. they talk about their pregnancies and deliveries. what can i say? no, i don't have stretchmarks from being pregnant (i just have them from being a woman) but i do have emotional stretchmarks to match anyone's physical ones. no, i did't go through a painful delivery but i sure was in a lot of emotional pain for years. i didn't have nine months to get used to the idea that the baby was coming. i had to do it all in less than a month.
we all have our own trials.
i don't know how i could have handled multiple miscarriages, for example. my hopes where shattered many, many times. but at least they were shattered without first being so excited about being pregnant. yes, there were many months when i thought i was pregnant. i remember being so mad at myself a few times for forgetting to mark my last period in the calendar. but that's not the same as having been pregnant and losing the baby.
but even when we got sienna, our trial wasn't over. for 13 months we still had to live in fear that someone was going to come and take our her from us (someone tried to stop the adoption and it took that long for all the court proceedings). it makes me cry even now when i think about it. such a joyful time in our lives but shadowed with terrifying fear as well.
so...
oh how much i love being a mom.
even when it's tough.
being a parent is the hardest job in the world. but also the most rewarding.

ps. check out:

www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

one amazing mama! reading her blog makes you look at your life in a whole new perspective.

ps. (meidän adoptiotarina)

{i remember}

(image via google image search)


today is remembrance day. we remember the soldiers who have suffered much or sacrificed their lives for freedom. i don't know why but this year this day is really hitting me hard. my heart feels heavy as i think of all the lives lost and all the suffering due to wars in our world. so much heart ache and suffering because someone wanted someone's land or someone wanted power and wealth. some wars have to happen. when forces united to save the world from hitler's power and influence, for example. when russia tried to take over finland...
my heart always goes to my grandma's younger brother who died so young. he died during the last days of the war. what a waste. what a tragedy. he was so handsome. his life was ahead of him. he played the violin. he won speedskating medals with old, worn skates. many girls' hearts were broken when he didn't come back from the war. how i love my grandma's brother even though i never met him. Y
how grateful i am to be living in a free country. i don't take it for granted and the least i can do is to honor this day and to remember.

{someone has to say something}

www.crocheteria.etsy.com

jostain syysta nama hippihatut on aina olleet mun lemppareita.

jaksaisikohan kirjoittaa... tekee mieli vaan menna huilailemaan mutta jos nyt pari sanaa tanne.

kiiretta pitanyt. sienna aloitti leikkarin. kolme kertaa viikossa, kaksi ja puoli tuntia per kerta. vanhemmat vuorottelevat valipalan ja mehun tuonnissa ja samalla auttavat opettajaa. siennan luokassa on 10 lasta ja siella on aina kaksi vanhempaa opettajan lisaksi. lapset enimmakseen leikkivat mutta myos oppivat ja tekevat yhdessa jotain. tarkeinta on sosiaalisten kykyjen oppiminen. etta oppii tulemaan toimeen muiden kanssa ja tottuu yhteistyohon. sienna on ollut ihan innoissaan koulusta ja jo ekana paivana (perjantaina, sienna missasi muutaman paivan kun olin kipeena) sain lahtea omille teilleni kun tytto oli ihan topakka ja ei missannut mua. oli outoa kun mulla oli omaa aikaa. :) pitaa totutella taas. nyt en voi enaa valittaa "ei oo aikaa" jos en saa jotain aikaiseksi. :)

aloitin myos viemaan siennaa taas jumppatunnille. lauantaisin ja tiistaina saa kayda myos siella leikkimassa itsekseen ilman ohjausta. eli oikeastaan joka paivalle olisi jotain tekemista nyt sitten.

en tieda miten te monien lapsien aidit sumplitte kaiken tekemisen ja menemisen. yhdessa lapsessa tuntuu olevan ihan riittavasti puuhaa mulle. :)
perjantaina mua masensi eras juttu ja en ole saanut sita mielestani. kavin nimittain videoliikkeessa vuokraamassa videon ja siella oli lauma pikkupoikia joilla selvastikin oli "sleep over" kemut menossa. olivat valitsemassa videota. he taisivat olla noin 8v. he valitsivat oikeen kunnon roskavideon jota ei ole tarkoitettu lasten nahtavaksi (14A rating). siina oli kuvana vahavaatteinen nainen. no, pitaisi sanoa naisen puolikas. pelkka peppu ja reidet nakyivat. katsoin kun pojat hihittelivat toista kuvaa videon takapuolella joka selvastikin oli seksikuva. vanhemmat eivat sanoneet yhtaan mitaan poikien videovalinnasta.

jotenkin mua on hairinnyt tama asia ihan hirveasti. tiedan ettei kaikilla ole samat moraalit kuin itsellani mutta jotenkin tuli karsee olo ettei monetkaan vanhemmat nayta valittavan mita roskaa heidan nainkin nuoret lapsensa nakevat. video on taynna harskia menoa ja kiroilemista sun muuta roskaa. naiset ovat pelkkia "lihoja" joita tollottaa.

minusta niin saali etta tuossa iassa jo lapset turmellaan moisella. eiko lapset saisi olla lapsia ja eiko meidan vanhempien pitaisi varmistaa ettei lasten aivot jo pienesta lahtien tayty roskalla?

kai olen vanhanaikainen sitten tai jotain sellaista. en tieda. mutten voinut sille mitaan etta mua kavi nama pojat saali ja ajatukset meni etta mita tallaisista pojista tulee kun jo noin nuorena katsovat tuollaista.

sitten ihmetellaan kun on teiniraskauksia sun muuta ongelmaa nuorten kanssa.

hello!

eiko todellakaan vanhemmat tajua miten tuollainen kraasa vaikuttaa lapsiin?

mietin etta millaisessa ymparistossa tulee siennan kayda koulunsa. pitaako jo pikkusesta lahtien varoa oman ikaisiaan? etteivat tee mitaan sopimatonta?

muistan lukeneeni sanomalehdesta eraasta tosi nuoresta poikalaumasta taalla jotka raiskasivat pikkutyton. hmm, mistakohan hekin olivat saaneet sen idean...

voi etta joskus suututtaa tama maailman meno. ei voi muuta sanoa.

mua voi kutsua nipottajaksi tai miksi vaan. mutta miettikaa - miksi bisnekset maksavat miljoonia muutamien sekuntien mainoksista jos mita naemme ei meihin vaikuta?

jos tungemme roskaa lapsiimme niin sitten emme saa ihmetella jos lapsista kasvaa sen laista.

no, tulipa vahvaa sanottavaa taas kerran. en voi sille mitaan. monesti on vaan vaikea katsoa sivusta tata maailman menoa ja olla sanomatta mitaan.

in english...

i've just been sick to my stomach since friday after watching a bunch of 8-year-old boys renting a gross 14A rated video. the cover was a half naked woman and the boys were giggling at the picture on the back. they were all excited to see "sex stuff". the parents let them rent it. didn't even say one word in protest of the movie. i just can't believe that some parents do this to their kids. no morals whatsoever. don't they realize what will happen if they keep pouring garbage in their kids' brains? these same parents then are shocked when they hear news like "a group of young boys raped a young girl" (happened here). well, duh!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes i just can't help but feel sick about this crazy world of ours. call me old fashioned. i don't care. old fashioned morals are worth defending even if others think you're stupid.

ps. this was not the first time i've been shocked to see what kids rent. this time it hit me even worse because the boys were so young.

{religious posting - skip, if not interested}

***

I once again haven't forgotten about this "Purpose of Life" posting I started back in September 2008. It's been on my list of things to do since then (somewhere at the back of my mind). Better late than never to finish what you start, right? Parts I and II can be found here: September 28/08 & November 16/08 postings. Or just click the label "religion/lds" and you'll find them. They have this same picture.

***

So, we're on the #4 & #5 "already".

Once again, such a vast topic (what happens after we die) but I'll try to be as short as I can.

***

It was never meant that we live in this world forever. Obviously. We all die. This world is actually not a very nice place to live. It is a "fallen world". It is such to provide us opportunities to learn and grow & to choose between good/bad (more about that in the previous posting).

When we die, our spirit separates from our body. The body returns to the earth (#4). It is dead and becomes "recycled" to the earth. Our spirit, however, still lives. Our spirits are eternal and cannot die. They go to a place called "the spirit world" (#5). Much could be said about this but I just say that it's divided into two parts: "paradise" and "spirit prison". Depending on how we have lived our lives, we go to one or the other. Spirits that go to "paradise", get to rest from all their troubles. But that is not all. Many righteous spirits will go and teach the unrighteous ones in the "spirit prison" and the people who have never heard of God's teachings (the gospel). They all get to choose whether they accept the gospel or not.

In the Bible, it says that no one can enter into God's Kingdom, unless that person is baptized. It is the sign that shows that we accept what God wants to give us.

What happens to all those people who are not baptized in this life? Millions & millions of people?

In the church, we perform "baptisms for the dead" in our temples. We are baptized on behalf of a deceased person. It is proxy work. They cannot be baptized in the spirit world as they have no bodies anymore. We do that ordinance for them and then it's up to them to either accept the ordinance or reject it. I know this sounds "weird" but it really isn't. Everyone has to be baptized. God has provided this simple way to offer that baptism to those who weren't baptized in this life. They still get to choose. It is not forced on them. There is a scripture in the New Testament that talks about this temple ordinance: 1 Corinthians 15:29. I don't know what other churches believe about that scripture or if they even understand what that scripture talks about.

Many people believe that it doesn't matter if you're baptized or not (I met many people on my mission who thought that) but it really does. Jesus showed the example to us by being baptized himself. He taught baptism and people who don't believe it, don't follow the Bible.

I don't know if this makes sense at all. Maybe it's one of those things that you first have to understand the gospel more to understand this part but I felt I should still explain it here.

***

I think I'll try to finish this whole thing tonight so I can forget about this finally. It might take me another year before I'd be done with this otherwise.

***

So, #6 is the Resurrection. In short, this means our spirit is given an immortal body, never to be separated again. We will never die again. We will never be sick again. We will never be tired again. The body we will receive will be AWESOME. I can't wait! We will appreciate these bodies only because we have gone through some misery in this life with our mortal, imperfect bodies (sickness, hunger, tiredness, death...).

***

#7 is the Judgment. I totally believe that our brains store every memory and every thing that happens to us in this life. Our thoughts, our actions, EVERYTHING. When it's time for a judgment, we'll see a perfect recall of our lives and we will know that God's judgment will be right. God loves us perfectly and more than we could ever even imagine. He follows eternal laws though. He will try to give us as much as we are willing to receive from him. We will not be judged for our actions only, but also for our thoughts and desires (most of us are weaker than our desires for good, for example). He sees our hearts. He will know how to judge us perfectly. He will be both merciful and just.

***

The best place to go to after Judgment, is God's Kingdom, of course. The place where He lives. The place of perfect love and goodness. In our church we call it the Celestial Kingdom (#8). The glory and goodness of that place is symbolized by the glory/brightness of the sun. People who accept EVERYTHING God wants to give them, will go here. People who have faithfully followed God and tried to live the gospel.

The second best place is called the Terrestrial Kingdom (#9). The moon can symbolize it's brightness/glory. Very good people receive this glory but they might not have accepted all that God wants to give them. But they are the ones who have been good people in this life.

The third place is called the Telestial Kingdom (#10). This is symbolized as the stars. There are many different degrees in this kingdom, just as stars defer in brightness. Almost all the rest of the people will go here. Bad people, really bad people, evil people (those who have never repented of their bad/evil deeds, there is always an opportunity for people to repent which means to turn to God and to change their ways to become better). They will receive this glory after they have paid the price for the evil things they have done.

Our church is so different from other religions when it comes to this teaching. Most religions just have hell/heaven. If you don't believe in a certain way, you go to hell. Our church teaches totally differently. We believe that God is our Heavenly Father which means He is the Father of our spirits. He loves each and every one of us. He wants to give as many blessings to all of us as we are willing to accept from Him.

Here's a quote that I love so much:

"...explains clearly that the lowest glory to which man is assigned is so glorious as to be beyond the understanding of man. It is a doctrine fundamental in Mormonism that the meanest sinner, in the final judgment, will receive a glory which is beyond human understanding, which is so great that we are unable to describe it adequately... The Gospel is a gospel of tremendous love. Love is at the bottom of it. The meanest child is loved so dearly that his reward will be beyond the understanding of mortal man." Y

(The Doctrine & Covenants Study Guide, page 166)

We have to remember that those people will pay a price for their sins/evil deeds in the spirit prison. But after they have paid that price, they receive a wonderful place from God.

(See 1 Corinthians 15: 40-42, if you want to read a Bible scripture about the three different kingdoms)

***

But there is still one place left, #12, the "outer darkness". This is where Satan and His followers will go. It is not a kingdom of glory. Only people who openly and knowingly fight against God are sent here. They have to KNOW that they are fighting against God. The reason why they can't receive any kind of kingdom of glory is that they won't accept it. They want nothing to do with God. They won't accept anything from Him.

***

So, I'm sure this is "too much info" and most of you will say "what?!!". But I wanted to finish what I had started and explain what I believe. Once you get this "whole picture" (with all the details that go with it, I have only scratched the surface), it makes you understand life and it gives you so much peace. You know GOOD WILL WIN IN THE END and that we don't have to put up with evil things forever. You know that God has a plan and that there is a reason for things. Getting to know God is worth ANY EFFORT you can put forth to find Him and to get to know Him.

***

I know this is a long posting (ok, marathon long :)) but I'd like to finish with few more words. These are words that bring me the most comfort as I think of a possibility of separating from a loved one because of death. These are by President Brigham Young and he said these words in someone's funeral in the year 1874:

"I would like to say to you, my friends and brethren, if we could see things as they are, and as we shall see and understand them, this dark shadow and valley (=death) is so trifling that we shall turn round and look about upon it and think, when we have crossed it, why this is the greatest advantage of my whole existence, for I have passed from a state of sorrow, grief, mourning, woe, misery, pain, anguish and disappointment into a state of existence, where I can enjoy life to the fullest extent as fas as that can be done without a body. My spirit is set free, I thirst no more, I want to sleep no more, I hunger no more, I tire no more, I run, I walk, I labor, I go, I come, I do this, I do that, whatever is required of me, nothing like pain or weariness, I am full of life, full of vigor, and I enjoy the presence of my heavenly Father, by the power of his Spirit..."

And one more quote by him:

"Mourning for the righteous dead springs from the ignorance and weakness that are planted within the mortal tabernacle... No matter what pain we suffer, no matter what we pass through, we cling to our mother earth, and dislike to have any of her children leave us. We love to keep together the social family relation that we bear one to another, and do not like to part with each other...

It is true it is grievous to part with our friends. We are creatures of passion, of sympathy, of love, and it is painful for us to part with our friends. We would keep them in the mortal house, though they should suffer pain. Are we not selfish in this? Should we not rather rejoice at the departure of those whose lives have been devoted to doing good...?

***

I love those quotes because when I read them, I realized that we are sad because we are separated from our loved ones. But they are in a state of peace and happiness. We really should be happy for them. Of course we'll miss them. But we have a most wonderful reunion to look forward to. Y

***

I love the gospel! Y

***

Yey, I'm done with this "purpose of life" posting. :)

Please feel free to ask questions, to comment, to say what you believe happens after we die...

This is what I believe and I just wanted to share in case it makes sense to someone or if it lights a spark in someone for the desire to get to know God. I'd love it if we'd get a great discussion going on this topic but at the same time I'm not holding my breath as I know from previous postings that I never seem to get a good discussion going. :)

I'll just be happy if anyone even read this. It was tons to type and my wrist is sore. :) So if you took the time (the LONG time) to read this, at least let me know you read it. It'll make me feel better. :)

***

{yksi parhaista paatoksistani}

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glorious treats flickr com

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hello naomi flickr com
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nick^D flickr com
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Laitetaan tanne vaikka tallaista vapun kunniaksi. Jotkut ne osaa tehda hianoja cupcakes. En kylla tieda tykkaisinko syoda moisia.

En muuten edes muistaisi etta on vappu ellen asiasta olisi saanut muistutusta netissa. Olen ollut kovin huono pitamaan ylla Suomen juhlapaivien traditioita. Pitaisi vihdoinkin etsia se suomalainen ystava jos sitten tulisi tehtya aina jotain. Tippaleipia en tietty tee Siennan vehnaallergian takia. Sama munkkien. Simaakaan ei raukka voi juoda kun on hiiva-allerginen myoskin. Itselle sima kylla maistuisi. Onneksi sita aina saa kerran vuodessa Heritage festarilla. Pitaisikohan joskus tehda ihan itselleni vaan...

Vapusta mulla on muutama hyva muisto mutta enimmakseen se tuo mulle huonoja muistoja, pakko myontaa. En ole halunnut tasta aiheesta aiemmin kirjoittaa silla tama liittyy muihinkin kuin minuun. Lyhyesti mainittakoon vaan etta minunkin perheessa on alkoholisteja kuten muidenkin suomalaisten. Itse en kesta enaa en tipan tippaa kannisten orinoita. Hauskan pitoa muka. Joo niin just. Inhoan viinaa yli kaiken. Se on samalla asteella mulle tupakan hajun kanssa. Niista tulee karseet muistot aina mieleen.

Itse olen alkoholia kayttanyt ehka yhteensa noin 10 kertaa (en muista tarkalleen). Humalassa olen ollut kuten muutkin. Kaikki tapahtui kun olin nuori (15 - 17v). Siita vaan alaikaisille viinoja. :( ALYTTOMIA asioita on tullut tehtya humalassa muutaman kerran. Viina vie aivot mennessaan.

Viimeinen humalani tuli nopeasti ja haipyi yhta nopeasti. Olin kaverini kanssa lukion vanhojen paivaa juhlimassa. Alaikaisille annettiin kapakassa viinoja tottakai. :( En tieda mista johtui, mutta humala tuli muutaman drinkin jalkeen. Mutta sitten humala lahtikin nopeasti myos. Kun selvittiin oltiin tanssimassa/suutelemassa eraiden poitsujen kanssa jotka selvin pain ei meita kiinnostaisi ei yhtaan. Haippasimme nopeasti omille teillemme kotiin kun selvittiin. Koulussa sitten nama poitsut yritti jatkaa meidan kanssa ja me tehtiin kaikkemme etta heti tajuaisivat etta ei tule kuuloonkaan. Onneksi selvittiin tosi nopeasti tai ties mita olisi voinut tapahtua.

Koulussa sitten juteltiin valitunnilla asiasta mun kaverin kanssa. Meita aklotti meidan kaytos. Sitten alettiin miettimaan miksi juomme. Emme kumpikaan siita koskaan olleet ihmeemmin valittaneet. Olimme vaan juoneet "kun muutkin". Meilla molemmilla oli perheenjasenia joilla vakavat alkoholi ongelmat. Kaverini isa oli tosi ihana kun oli selva mutta kannissa orisi ja uhkasi ja muu perhe piti lahtea isaa pakoon sukulaisten luo. Isa joi hajuvedet ja kaikki seka pissasi sohvalle. Lopulta kuoli alkoholin takia nuorena. Mietimme etta jokaisella meidan ystavalla oli joku perheessa joka oli alkoholisti. Tajusimme miten alytonta juominen loppujen lopuksi on. Miten humalassa ei tieda mita tulee tehtya. Alysti traagisia tarinoita sita todistamassa. Yhdessa sina paivana paatimme ettemme juo enaa. Olimme 17-vuotiaita! Yksi parhaista paatoksista joita elamassani olen koskaan tehnyt. Juomista en ole kaivannut en tippaakaan. Mulle maistuu alkoholittomat juomat taysin (vesi kaikkein parhaiten) ja en tarvi edes pikku humalaa elamaa "piristamaan". Osaan juhlia ilman viinoja.
Voisin kertoa kamalia muistoja lapsuudestani. Mutten aio. Kylla te kaikki tiedatte miten lapsetkin karsii monissa perheissa.

Vakavaa puhetta vappuna mutten voi sille mitaan etta mulle tulee vapusta mieleen tallaiset jutut.
Mutta todellakin - inhoan viinaa kuin se olisi kuin rutto. Valtan sita yhta kiivaasti. Mua ei kiinnostaa mitkaan viinapuhelut tai edes pienet juomiset. Ei sit yhtaan. Just ja just jaksan esim sukuhaissa tms jos joku juo. Mutta heti kun ihmiset alkavat olemaan vahankin humalassa niin meika lahtee lapsimaan kotiin lujaa vauhtia.
Miten surulliseksi tulen kun mietin tuntemiani ihmisia jotka viina on pilannut. Miten ihania olisivat jos heilla ei olisi sita alkoholi ongelmaa. Miten surulliseksi tulen myos kun katson muita joihin myos jonkun viinanjuonti on vaikuttanut traumaattisesti.
Miten ihanaa ettei meidan perheessa juoda. Y

Vahan kauhulla odotan kun Siennasta tulee teinari ja vaikka kuinka opetan etta alkoholi on kamala juttu niin mitas jos han alkaakin juomaan. En kestaisi. Tiedan eraan henkilon jolle noin on kaynyt. Han lapsena karsi alkoholistin toimista (oma aiti) ja sitten hanen omalla lapsellaan on alkoholi ongelma. Voi mita surua tunnen hanen puolestaan. Itsesta tuntuu etta tulisin hulluksi jos viela pitaa kayda moista ruljanssia lapi. Ja viela oman lapsen kanssa.

Nyt on mun mieli kovin musta tasta kaikesta. En todellakaan ollut suunnitellut taman kirjoittamista. Se tuli taas ihan itsestaan. Pitaa yrittaa suunnata ajatukset positiivisiin juttuihin tanaan ettei nama ajatukset ja omat lapsuusmuistot paase tuhoamaan enaa yhtakaan minuuttia mun elamasta. Tarpeeksi tuhoa on tehty jo.
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{please read this posting and spread the info}

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This is one of the hardest but the most important postings I've done so far. Please read even though the topic is a very difficult one. It is very important that we all know about this.

I turned on the tv earlier tonight. The Oprah show (www.oprah.com) was on and I thought I'd watch it for a bit. I almost turned the tv off when I realized what the topic of the show was. I am a very sensitive person who gets dramatized easily. But I could not turn the tv off. The episode was about child pornography/pedofiles. I watched it for about 20 minutes. Enough to leave me highly disturbed. I feel like crying, screaming, not wanting to live in this sometimes very SICK & EVIL world, hoping that the Millenium would come RIGHT NOW (for those of you who know what that means). I feel sick to my stomach and feel that I should throw up.

How I wish I didn't have to know about issues like this.

I'm sure we all know about this topic. But I realized while watching this show that it's something that should be talked about more and I also realized that I don't know enough. But even more important - more needs to be done to protect our children.

This is not just about naked pictures of children. This is about the worst kind of sex acts done to children. Even very young children. This is about how widespread this epidemic is. Much worse than any of us can even imagine!

I have left the worst parts out of this article which I will share now. I just can't "speak loud" the words that describe some of the things that are being done to precious children all over the world. The entire article can be found here:

oprah - child pornography episode

You need to read this even though it's painful to read! I didn't realize that our children are in danger of becoming pedofiles. Our children! You need to read this!

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…It's estimated that more than 5 million pornographic pictures and videos of children are circulated on the Internet every day…
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To help Americans understand the severity of the problem, Lisa Ling travels to Milton, Florida, to document the arrest of a suspected child pornographer…
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When Lisa arrives at the office's CyberCrime Unit, she meets Chief Chuck McMullen, the man leading this operation.Chuck tells Lisa that the person they're after has been downloading and transmitting vile images of children being violently sexually abused."He's a higher-than-average user or possessor of child pornography," Chuck says. In just three weeks, police officers say they tracked more than 50 graphic images of child pornography to his home computer.
Though this bust is a step in the right direction, investigators say it won't even scratch the surface of this problem. Currently, the CyberCrime Unit is tracking thousands of cases in Florida alone…
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Maureen Horkan, director of the Child Predator CyberCrime Unit, arrives on the scene and tells Lisa that pornography was being downloaded on a computer inside the home when the officers arrived."We have flat-out child pornography," she says. "[It's] child pornography that includes sexual conduct. Sexual conduct means penetration, means rape of children, means bondage with children. … It can be some of the most horrific stuff."After further investigation, the officers name the homeowners' 18-year-old son, a high school student, as their prime suspect. Officers pull him out of school and bring him home for questioning.

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After searching the home, a forensic analyst tells Lisa they discovered several pornographic video files and homemade CDs containing graphic content in the teen's bedroom. They also confiscated four computers and multiple hard drives."These images show the rape and sexual torture of children in all varying stages," Chuck says. "I want the public to understand that these aren't just pictures."The 18-year-old was arrested, but the next day, he was released on bond. He pled not guilty to multiple child pornography charges…
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Chuck says the suspect's parents were shocked by their son's arrest. "They were amazed because the search warrant says words like 'child pornography' and 'digital images,' and they didn't have any idea, because they knew they weren't involved in that," he says. "Then, once we told them that it was their son, they were very saddened, as any parent would be."Like most parents, Chuck says they want to protect their son, but they're also concerned about other children living in their home. "They have mixed emotions, obviously," he says. "They have other children in the house they also have to protect, so that puts them in a very difficult position."
What do parents need to know to keep their children safe? First, Maureen says moms and dads need to be aware of how much volume is out there and understand what their children are doing on their computers…
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"I think the more knowledge we have about what's going on with predators and our children, the more we are prepared to take action against them," Oprah says.

*
Maureen Horkan, director of Florida's Child Predator CyberCrime Unit, shares a letter of caution for all parents.

The vast distribution of child pornography affects all of our children, in addition to the victims abused in the images. The huge volume of these sexual abuse images on the Internet affects normal everyday children because it is easily accessible by children in many of the normal computer activities they engage in every day.It is not difficult to find this material; you do not have to join a club or find a website. It is trafficked on free, Web-based software that most kids know all about and use regularly to find and download things like music and movies.Parents have to talk to their children about this material and the fact that is illegal and involves real children being abused. They need to ensure that we do not show up on their doorstep next with a search warrant.
*
In the three years since we started this initiative, we have gone to many homes expecting to find an adult and ended up finding a child.The consequences for our children are huge, and in every case where we find a child looking at these images, the parents had no idea. It is very likely that children would come across this material, and you can only imagine what the impact of that could be on them if they are still in the developmental stages. Exposing children to this material normalizes sexuality with and between children.This destroys them in so many ways. It objectifies sexuality, it makes it common that children can be used for sex, it normalizes violent sex and it externalizes sexual activity so they do not have to give or be emotionally present to participate. All of that is in addition to the fact that it exposes them to sex at such a young age. Normal adults who might see these images by accident (assuming they do not already harbor latent pedophilia) would be sick and not stimulated by the content, but children in developmental stages that see/use this material could be affected by it forever.They may be confused, act out similar abuse, possibly go to jail and be a registered sex offender forever.

*

12 things to do to be safer online

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How can anyone hurt children?!!! How is it that the guy who was arrested got released out on bond?!!! Why is it that pedofiles ever get out of jail?!!!! ("Sure" they are rehabilitated. Many of them are multiple offenders. They get out and do it again.) Why is it that we can't protect our children better?!!! Why do the offenders (too mild of a word for these EVIL, SICK people!!!) are given "a slap on the hand" and not put to death?!!!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. In my opinion, the worst crimes (premeditated murder, any heinous crimes against children...) should be punishable by death. Let them go and meet God and face His judgment after what they have done! If it's 100% sure they are guilty, then they do not deserve to live after what they have done. It is on each of our conscience if they go out and hurt a child again if we support the unsufficient laws/punishments for these crimes.

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The only reason why I don't go insane when I think of things like this, is because I know that good will win in the end. Evil people will get their punishment. One day we don't have to put up with things like this anymore. Oh how I look forward to that day!!

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"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

Jesus Christ

(Matthew 18: 6)

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That scripture talks about someone who causes a child to loose faith or leads a child astray. The word "offend" comes from a Greek word which means "cause to stumble". Can you imagine then, how God feels about someone who hurts children heinously?

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{finnish easter traditions}

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I'm still thinking of Easter. I thought I'd share some Finnish Easter traditions here.
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Vintage Finnish Easter cards.
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In Finland, people eat this gross looking stuff called "mammi" (there should be dots above the a) during Easter. It's made of rye flour, malt, syrup, etc. I never warmed up to mammi myself but many Finns love it.
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Kids grow this fast growing grass and decorate it with little chicks.
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Birch and/or pussy willow branches are decorated with colorful feathers. The birch branches are picked ahead of time and when you place them in water, they start to grow young green leaves.
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On Palm Sunday, little kids are made into "Easter witches" and they go door to door in hopes of receiving Easter eggs or other candy. They say a certain poem, waving the branches, that asks if the person is going to give them a chicken or an egg. Don't ask. I don't know how these traditions form but it's just what you do, ok. :) The origin of the door to door tradition stems from Eastern orthodox traditions. The witch part, which was probably some pagan tradition, comes from Sweden. Somehow the two traditions melted together and you get Easter witches.
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Aren't these girls cute? :) All of these pictures are from the internet as I didn't have my own pictures.

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Kotilieden artikkeli virpomisesta:

"Virpominen on vanha itäsuomalainen, ortodoksisuuteen liittyvä palmusunnuntaiperinne. Virpoja heiluttaa pajunoksia virvottavalle ja lausuu virvontalorun. Virpoja ojentaa sitten vitsansa ja saa palkakseen makeisia tai rahaa.
Virvontaperinne ei liity sinällään millään tavoin noidaksi pukeutumiseen. Trulliksi eli noidaksi pukeutuminen on ollut täysin erillinen, länsisuomalainen perinne. Ruotsista rantautuneen perinteen mukaan noidat kiertelevät ovelta ovelle toivotellen hyvää pääsiäistä.
Kun Karjalan siirtoväestö asutettiin muualle Suomeen, virpomistapa levisi heidän mukanaan. Pian itä- ja länsisuomalaiset tavat alkoivat sekoittua keskenään yhdeksi perinteeksi: noidiksi, jotka kiertelevät virpoen ovelta ovelle. Yleensä pienten virpojien suusta kuulee tällaisen virvontaluvun: ”Virvon varvon tuoreeks terveeks tulevaks vuodeks. Vitsa sulle, palkka mulle.” Vitsoista annetaan palkaksi karkkia, kuten suklaamunia, tai rahaa."

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Me aina sanottiin: "Virvon varvon tuoreeks terveeks tulevaks vuodeks. Annatko munan vai kanan?"

Muistuvin virpomismuisto joka minulla on kun kaytiin virpomassa pikkusen serkun kanssa. Serkun eka kerta. Me isommat ensin naytettiin miten se tehdaan ja sitten oli serkun vuoro. Ovi avautui ja pikkuruinen serkku yritti loytaa rohkeutta virpomiseen kun akainen ukko sielta huusi etta "taallahan ei virvota!" Itkuahan siita tuli ja karsea ensi kokemus.

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I've been:

*Taking Robin to an eye exam and to get new glasses. He was excited to get the kind of lenses that turn into sunglasses in the sun.

*Cleaning cat puke off our bed and carpet.

*Paid $75 for a certain follow-up doctor visit (first visit was $250!). You don't usually pay for doctors here but this doctor knows he's the only one doing "bioidentical hormones" here so he can charge whatever he wants. Needless to say his work place is FANCY.
*Walking about like a zombie. Sienna's been sleeping terrible again lately and I feel like my head's in a fog. I'm too old to handle it gracefully. (read: cranky pranky!)

*Watching American Idol and trying to decide who I like the most.
*Reading book #6 in the Work & the Glory book series. Wondering how on earth those early church members got through all they had to go through. Mob violence. Killed and harassed due to their religion. Having to move from place to place seeking for a peaceful place to live. Church leaders prisoned in inhuman condition for bogus charges. Amazing miracles too among them. They must have had such strong faith. I'm so loving reading these books again for the second time. Yesterday I found out that one of the stories in the book is about my friend's ancestor! He was an old man when a mob came to harass and kill the church members. He was sick in bed, too sick to try to get to safety. A mob came in his house and shot him because he couldn't leave his house. Thank goodness the bullet barely hit him in the head and he survived. I couldn't believe it was my friend's ancestor. I got chills as she told me about him.

One story was about a woman who's one child was shot to dead (yep, the mob killed children point blank too!) and another was shot in the hip. A big part of his hip was missing. There was no doctor. The woman prayed in faith and she got inspiration to know what to do to help her son. She used ashes and water to make a lime solution. Cleaned the terrible wound. Then they got slippery elm roots and that helped the wound heal even more. It was a miracle that the boy didn't die. He always had a huge hole in his hip but was able to walk normally.

Anyways, many touching true stories and I have been so thankful for those early church members for sticking it out and staying faithful. I'm yet to read the worst parts though. How they had to leave Nauvoo, Illinois (a city they had built out of a swamp, tons of hard work) and in the dead of winter start treking towards the Rocky Mountains. That's how the mormons got to Utah. They were driven there by a mob. Many died on the way as they were not allowed to take the time to prepare themselves for the harsh journey. Children sometimes walked barefoot in the dead of winter. Their feet would bleed and often had to be amputated. Many starved to death. After leaving home after home due to mob violence, they finally got to Utah and started to settle the Salt Lake valley. Again they had to work real hard to build homes and farms as it wasn't a very good land for farming. They made many desert places bloom and flourish. They hoped they finally could be safe and live in peace but even then, trouble came. An army was sent against the mormons once again. For no reason. More harassement. Eventually things finally got more peaceful.

I'm lucky to live in a time when for most part we can live in peace. Yes, I've been abused verbally due to my church membership. Sometimes even still some of our church members are killed though. In Ireland, a missionary was killed by a 19-year-old. There's so much prejudice and fear towards our church. That's why I try to sometimes let people know that our church is not as weird as people think. We are Christians and we just try to live good lives. I try to teach a bit about our church in hopes that some of those prejudices about our church would finally start to disappear. So bear with me when I sometimes mention the church or something about it. It's not meant as shoving anything down on anyone's throat. It's just to spread knowledge and understanding.

I've heard about how couples who get married in the Salt Lake temple come out of the temple and people throw mud on them or shout insults. It's supposed to be the happiest day in their lives. I can't understand how someone can be so mean to do stuff like that.

I will continue to bring the church up every once in awhile. Please be understanding.

I live in hope that one day differences will be tolerated and there won't be any kind of hate or prejudice anymore. You gotta hope.

Ok, I hadn't planned to say all this. It just came. I just had Easter on my mind but sometimes things just come out that you hadn't planned for.

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I know this is a long posting but I thought I'd add one more thing. Some reasons why the early church members were harassed and hated:

*they didn't believe in slavery and spoke on behalf of the black people, even helped them, this was a very touchy subject back in those days

*many religious leaders started to speak against them as their own congregation members left them to join the mormons

*the church was growing so rapidly, people feared the saints were starting to become too powerful politically

*lack of knowledge, people just totally misunderstood the church and it's members

*many people in the "west" (Missouri was the western region of USA then) were outlaws or people who were rough and tough, they were easy to excite into action against the mormons, many people coveted the mormons' property and got it for free as the saints were forced to leave their homes and farms

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{start them young}

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Sienna has always loved helping. It used to be "helping" but today I was thinking that now she's actually starting to be a bit of a help for me at times. She helps set the table, helps clear it, etc.

I think it's important to let kids do things with you when they want to, even when they can't really help. I bought Sienna her very own little handheld broom and dustpan and when I sweep the floor, she does too. When I dust, she "dusts". When I vacuum, she "vacuums" with her "popcorn toy" (that's what we call that long toy that has little balls in it and they move, pop & make sounds when you move it back and forth). When I wash some dishes by hand, she's right there next to me standing on a chair "washing dishes". Sometimes she only copies me for 1 minute. Sometimes longer. I don't always have patience for the washing dishes part, but I try. I try to say things like "this is fun, isn't it?" so that she grows up thinking cleaning is fun. Start them when they are young and eager and maybe they'll learn to love those mundane, every day chores. Sounds good to me.

I'll never forget when this one family invited me for dinner. They had couple of young girls. That day the youngest one (I think she was about 8 or so) had made the chicken in the oven (I didn't even know how to cook a chicken in the oven back then, I was maybe 18 myself) and the older one made something else. Their mom evidentally had let her girls cook with her since they were young. So I'm starting Sienna young with that too. I show her what I'm doing when I'm cooking (when she's interested) and let her stir the food, etc.

Maybe this is something really obvious to the rest of you but I must admit that I didn't know how to cook too many foods by the time I had my own place (I was 17, mind you).

It was actually Jay who made me realize how young you can start teaching them. I kept thinking "stop bothering me when I'm cooking" kind of thoughts but then I saw Jay holding Sienna on her lap a long, long time ago while he was making scrambled eggs and she loved being involved. I realized way back then that kids are never too young. You can involve them as soon as they are interested in something. Then it won't be a battle later.

So next time your little ones bother you when you're doing chores or cooking - just get them involved. Give them their own chores to do (depending on their age & ability). It's amazing what kids can do when you just show them how. I sure enjoy doing things with her rather than by myself. Most of the time. She makes things fun. Gotta love being a parent.

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