{i needed this today}

Some silly halloween jokes i came across today:

What do Hawaiian pumpkins say?

Happy HULA-ween!

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

He was going TICK or TWEETING.

What do monsters do when they hear country music?

They start SCARE-dancing.

What do monsters eat for breakfast?

SCREAM of wheat.

Who is a werewolf's favorite comedian?

HAIRY Seinfield.

What did the Klingon say on Halloween?

TREK or treat?

Why do dogs bark on October 31st?

They're celebrating HOWL-oween.

(images via google image search)

{the world's most famous hips in action :)}

then something funny i read on facebook:

if only mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood.

ihana olisi. :)

and i like this one:

'pay no mind to those who talk behind your back - it simply means that you are two steps ahead'

happy monday everyone!

{finglish on niin hauskaa!}

i'll be right back = silmästä tulee oikea selkä

sandwich = hiekka noita

fat free = läskiä ilmaiseksi

to be or not to be? = ampiaiselle vai ei?

do you feel alright? = tunnetko kaiken oikealta?

i see = silmämeri

i saw my honey today = sahaan hunajaani tänään

carpet factory = autolemmikkitehdas

press space bar to continue = lehdistö avaruusbaariin jatkoille

...and my favorite:
bye bye baby, baby goodbye = osta osta vauva, vauva hyvä ostos

että silleen :D

"tuntea vapaa" to leave a comment ja lisätä tähän listaan. :D

{how can vampires be so much fun? :)}

i probably never would have bought these books. i got them from a friend of mine who happens to be a 60-70-year-old (i'm terrible at guessing someone's age) lady who's totally into vampires, teenage books and all sorts of movies. :) i would have never guessed that of her. what a fun friend.

anyways, she gave me these books and now i'm hooked. i'm reading the last one at the moment and i'm bummed there's no more of them.

these are the kind of books you don't want to put down as you want to find out what happens next.

not as great as twilight (nothing is! :)) but definately fun to read.

this same author wrote the vampire diaries which are now a tv series. i think these books are better than the vampire diaries ones. yes, i admit it, i read those too. the same friend lent them to me earlier. :)
i bet these will become a tv-series as well.

ps. these books are not creepy.

o o o

knock, knock.

who's there?

spell.

spell who?

w - h - o.

:)

knock, knock.

who's there?

isaac.

isaac who?

isaac in knock knock jokes.

:)

(just something to share with your kids)

{sleepless in canada}

knock, knock.

who's there?

anita.

anita who?

anita sleeping pill to knock me out.

{some funny stuff for ya}

teabags by maum

(found via www.geekgaz.com)

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.

* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

* If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.

* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

* A backward poet writes inverse.

* In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

* A calendar's days are numbered.

* A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.

* A boiled egg is hard to beat.

* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

* When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

(found via www.ilaughapp.com)

{ei vaan pastellivärejä ja nalle puhia}

(all images via google image search)

fun bumper stickers:

honk if you love peace and quiet.

i don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.

my karma ran over your dogma.

if everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.

i used to think i was indecisive, but now i'm not too sure.

nobody's perfect. i'm a nobody.

where there's a will, i want to be in it!

caution! i drive like you do!

{lapsille ja lapsenmielisille}

(all images via google image search)
what do you call cheese that isn't yours?
o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

nacho cheese.

o

what do you get from a pampered cow?

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

spoiled milk.

o

what lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

a nervous wreck.

o

what's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

a bad golfer goes: whack! dang it!

a bad skydiver goes: dang it! whack!

o

what goes clip, clop, clip, clop, bang, bang, clip, clop, clip, clop?

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o
an amish drive-by shooting.
o

happy tuesday everyone! :)

{awwww!}

gotta love kittens!

Y
Cat Definitions
Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.
Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.
Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.
Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.
Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Tooraloorailurophobia: an irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.

(the images and the joke: via google search)

{hi hii}

Tätä noudattaen pääset taatusti ajoissa rantakuntoon. *TENAVADIEETTI*

Jo pitkään tunnettu tosiasia on, että kaksivuotiaat ovat yleensä hoikkia. Lastenlääkäreiden, röntgenhoitajien, ravintoterapeuttien ja turhautuneiden äitien yhteistyönä laadittiin tämä uusi dieetti. Se on edullinen, vaihteleva ja ravitseva.

1. PÄIVÄ

Aamiainen: Yksi keitetty muna, viipale paahtoleipää aprikoosihillon kera. Syö kaksi hyppysellistä munaa, ja murenna loput lattialle. Haukkaa kerran paahtoleivästä, ja hiero sitten hilloa kasvoillesi ja vaatteillesi.

Lounas: Neljä väriliitua (värillä ei väliä), kourallinen murskattuja perunalastuja ja lasi maitoa (kolme siemausta, kaada loput lattialle).

Päivällinen: Keksi, kaksi kymmenpennistä ja viisikymmenpenninen. Yksi roska sohvan alta.

Iltapala: Paahda viipale paahtoleipää ja heitä se keittiön lattialle. Palanpainikkeeksi neljä siemausta iltakylpyvettä. 2. PÄIVÄ

Aamiainen: Ota eilinen paahtoleipä keittiön lattialta ja syö se. Syö lusikallinen vanilliinisokeria ja juo puoli pullollista vihanneksista tehtyä elintarvikeväriä.

Lounas: Puolikas pötkylä vaaleanpunaista huulipunaa. Puraisu leikkipuistosta tuodusta tupakantumpista (jonka muut perheenjäsenet pakottavat sinut sylkemään pois) jääkuution kera.

Välipala: Nuole tikkukaramelli tahmeaksi, vie se ulos ja pudota hiekkaan. Nuole jälleen kunnes se on puhdas. Tuo se sitten sisälle ja pudota matolle.

Päivällinen: Kivi tai kuivattu herne, työnnetään ensin vasempaan sieraimeen. Sekoita limonadia perunamuusiin. Syö lusikalla.

3. PÄIVÄ

Aamiainen: Kaksi lettua ja runsaasti hilloa, jonka hierot hiuksiisi. Lasillinen maitoa. Juo puoli lasillista, jonka jälkeen tunge lettuja lasiin. Poimi eilinen tikkari matolta, nuole karvat pois ja piilota se sohvatyynyjen väliin.

Lounas: Kolme tulitikkua, kaakaojuomajauhetta ja hillovoileipä. Tunge suusi täyteen leipää ja yökkää se lopulta lattialle. Kaada lasillinen maitoa pöydälle ja nuole se siitä.

Päivällinen: Jäätelöä, kourallinen perunalastuja, kahvia (jos toiset eivät huomaa).

4. PÄIVÄ

Aamiainen: Neljännestuubi hammastahnaa, palanen saippuaa ja oliivi. Kaada lasillinen maitoa kulholliseen maissihiutaleita. Kaada päälle puoli kupillista sokeria. Kun maissihiutaleet ovat pehmenneet, juo maito ja syötä murot koiralle.

Lounas: Syö muruja keittiön lattialta ja olohuoneen matolta. Etsi tikkukaramelli sohvasta ja syö se loppuun.

Päivällinen: Spagettia sekoitettuna lasilliseen kaakaojuomaa. Jätä lihapullat lautaselle. Toinen puolikas vaaleanpunaisesta huulipunasta jälkiruoaksi.

Dieettiä on hyvä tehostaa sopivalla liikunnalla. Tässä muutama esimerkki:

- Kieri ja vääntelehdi supermarketin lattialla, vahvista samalla äänihuuliasi voimakkaalla karjunnalla. Pistä hanakasti vastaan kun Securitaksen mies raahaa sinua ulos kaupasta.

- Juokse joka paikkaan, väliin hypähdyksiä. Kaatuile säännöllisesti, ylös kampeaminen vahvistaa lihaksia monipuolisesti.

Muista taas äänihuulet: huuda juostessasi.

- Pyydä pukeutumistilanteisiin sparraajaa. Vastustele pukemista kaikin voimin. Älä tyydy ensimmäsiin vaatteisiin, vaadi saada vaihtaa ne ainakin kolmeen kertaan.
(dieetti löydetty täältä)

kiitti suvi! paras nauru pitkään aikaan. :D

{sydämiä ja savoa}

tältä näyttää meidän ikkuna tällä hetkellä valentiinin päivän kunniaksi. ostin näitä sydämiä askartelukaupasta. niitä käytetään kakkujen pohjalla.

savolaismurre on minusta niin hauska:

Savolaisakka meni valokuvaajalle.

Valokuvaaja kysyy: "Otetaanko rintakuva?"

"Saeshan tuo piäkii olla mukana", tuumasi akka.
i decorated our front window with these paper hearts (found at the cake decorating section at michael's).

Our kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean t-shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter’s room, finding nothing usable but one t-shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with our daughter. That afternoon, our daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, “Families are Forever.” And on the other, “Be Smart, Don’t Start.”