Showing posts with label blogs i like. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogs i like. Show all posts
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
{thoughts on motherhood}
steve aka sricpin/flickr
floridapfe/flickr
ferdi's world/flickr
iPhotograph/flickrhappy mother's day to all of you mothers as well as to all those of you who want to be mothers but for some reason or another can't. yet.
as someone who went through a major infertility trial, i know how mother's day can be when your heart is aching to be a mother and it's just not happening. i waited for 14 years (!!!) to be a mother. how tough was it? only those who have gone through the same thing, for as long as i did, know. each year it got worse and worse. it got to the point where i didn't want to be around anyone on mother's day. jay and i even went out of town once to escape it all. it all was just too much. i still remember the feelings i had back then even though now i know that all turned out well. the wait was all worth it. now we have sienna who is such a joy to us. life seems more complete. sometimes i think that i can appereciate motherhood more than other mothers because i had to wait for so long. i sure don't ever want to catch myself complaining about any part of motherhood. it is a blessing to be a mother.
i always thought i'd have three children. i even had names picked. two girls, one boy. life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, right? i never planned to be such an old mom either. i don't get it that the trend seems to be to wait until you're 40 or so to have kids. you just don't have the same energy as you did in your 20's, for example. all our friends have teenagers/older children. it makes me sad at times to think how old i'll be when sienna will be 20, or when she'll be 30... i just hope i can be there when she will have children of her own.
sometimes i still feel like an outsider when i'm with other moms. they talk about their pregnancies and deliveries. what can i say? no, i don't have stretchmarks from being pregnant (i just have them from being a woman) but i do have emotional stretchmarks to match anyone's physical ones. no, i did't go through a painful delivery but i sure was in a lot of emotional pain for years. i didn't have nine months to get used to the idea that the baby was coming. i had to do it all in less than a month.
we all have our own trials.
i don't know how i could have handled multiple miscarriages, for example. my hopes where shattered many, many times. but at least they were shattered without first being so excited about being pregnant. yes, there were many months when i thought i was pregnant. i remember being so mad at myself a few times for forgetting to mark my last period in the calendar. but that's not the same as having been pregnant and losing the baby.
but even when we got sienna, our trial wasn't over. for 13 months we still had to live in fear that someone was going to come and take our her from us (someone tried to stop the adoption and it took that long for all the court proceedings). it makes me cry even now when i think about it. such a joyful time in our lives but shadowed with terrifying fear as well.
so...
oh how much i love being a mom.
even when it's tough.
being a parent is the hardest job in the world. but also the most rewarding.
ps. check out:
one amazing mama! reading her blog makes you look at your life in a whole new perspective.
ps. (meidän adoptiotarina)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
{wire!}
so... i checked the link for the person who designed the blog banner i liked the most and look what i found! miro chun from fold is behind all these fun wire pictures. she made the blog banner design with wire! she sells cards and jewellery online. love this stuff! what a fun idea.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
{wallpaper love}
new blog find:all kinds of fun stuff. check it out.
i don't know why but lately i've been so in love with wallpaper. i want, i need, i gotta have. :)
it reminds me of my grandma's apartment in the early 70's.
so does the lamp in picture #3. it looks like a modern version of her brown 70's lamp. me likey. :)
i love it when people aren't scared of color in their home. so often scandinavian homes are white, white, white. i'd love white if i lived somewhere warm but there's enough white stuff (read: snow) here during our long winters. i like to surround myself with warm colors.
the wallpaper i'd like in my living room is in this posting.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
{lisää kuvia tältä viikolta}
(read my comment about tree pictures in the previous posting) :D
what i might do when i have some alone time.winter walks are much more fun when you have a small camera that is easy to bring along. :)
our mall's bathrooms are so fancy nowadays.
and look what came in the mail! valentine's day goodies from wonderful & fun moon (visit her at *moon ko) who's scrapbooking and wit i enjoy so very much.thank you so much! i can't wait to make something with all this. i think i'll copy one of your pages, moon. i think that would be very appropriate to show my gratitude for all this loveliness. plus then it's more likely that it'll be a great layout. :D
Friday, February 5, 2010
{so much eye candy!}
uusin bloggaajalöytö:hänen blogeilla on niin paljon kaikkea ihanaa, juuri minun tyyppistä, että tuskin pystyn hengittämään. minut löytää noilta blogeilta kun löydän vapaa-aikaa tänä viikonloppuna.
newest blog find. she has so, so much of eye candy, fun ideas and links in her blogs that i'm almost hyperventilating. you'll find me browsing these blogs when i have some free time this weekend.
newest blog find. she has so, so much of eye candy, fun ideas and links in her blogs that i'm almost hyperventilating. you'll find me browsing these blogs when i have some free time this weekend.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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